.: Intro

Welcome to Evil-Minions.com, the website dedicated to the true working class heroes of Evil--the Minion. We're Evil, because someone has to be. Besides, Evil is just more fun.

..: What is a Minion?

Minions are the true workforce of Evil. Sure, Evil Overlords get the fame and notoriety, but it is their faithful minions that actually get the work done. Do you think those massive lairs, deathtraps, prisons and Death Stars just build themselves? Without minions, Evil Overlords would just be lone megalomaniacal nuts. We are the unsung heroes of Evil, and this website is for us.

Minions are absolutely loyal to our Evil Overlords--as long as that Overlord is within earshot. A good Evil Overlord realizes that we will probably betray him, either intentionally or through our incompetence. And a good Evil Minion realizes that their Overlord will betray him at the drop of a hat as a message to other minions, as an intimidation factor for the hero, or simply for the sheer amusement value.

..: Why be a Minion?

Why do we do what we do? True, being an Evil Minion is rough, thankless work. Evil Overlords rarely acknowledge us, except to berate and punish us, and they have a tendency to sacrifice their minions for the most trivial of reasons. Minions don't have much in the way of health or dental coverage, to say nothing of the complete lack of a retirement plan. In fact, the only thing we have to look forward to is a cruel and painful death. So why do we do it?

..: Pride

Minions take pride in their work. There is nothing more satisfying then seeing the fruits of our labor being used to exploit the weak, ruin the innocent, and destroy the fabric of society. And sometimes, it might even coax a smile from the master. And that makes it all worthwhile. As long as Evil Minions take pride in their work, we will continue to be a labor force for Overlords, Warlords, Mad Scientists, Criminal Masterminds and any other charismatic madman in search of world domination.

..: Note: Don't take it seriously

This website is for humorous purposes only. It does not endorse actual acts of an anti-social, vandalistic, destructive, or dare we say it, Evil nature. It's just a website. If you kill your parents, shoot up your school, sacrifice your sister to the dark forces to enhance their hellish crusade, then you really just have yourself to blame.